Escaping the Violence

I read this joke on a forum that I frequent:

Team owner Jeffery Lurie had put together the perfect team for the Philadelphia Eagles. The only thing missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl victory. One night while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghani soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a window from 80 yards away. Then he threw another, from 50 yards, down a chimney, and finally hit a passing car going 80 miles per hour.

"I've got to get this guy!" Lurie said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

He brings the young Afghan to the States and teaches him the great game of football. Sure enough the Eagles go on to win the Super Bowl. The young Afghan is hailed as a hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl."

"I don't want to talk to you," the old Muslim woman says. "You deserted us. You are not my son."

"Mother, I don't think you understand," pleads the son, "I've just won the greatest sporting event in the world!"

"No! Let me tell you," his mother retorts, "At this very moment are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Philadelphia!"

blog.ahdchild.com

Look at your address bar. My blog has moved. The new address is blog.ahdchild.com. In the past, if you went to that address, it redirected your browser to the old blogspot address. Now there's no more blogspot address. Don't worry, if you go to the old address you'll still end up here.

Simply Amazing

I got to talk a good friend of mine the other day. It had been a while since we last talked, but whenever we talk, we geek out on new and old music technology and techniques. A few months ago, he'd been on a crazy quest to find out everything he could about vocoders and talkboxes, so we revisited the topics. He told m that I should head over to YouTube to check out a video of Stevie Wonder playing the talkbox. I watched the video and loved it - Stevie is amazing. When I searched for that video, the second search result was a video of Stevie doing a drum solo. I knew Stephie could play a lot of instruments, but drums? He's not usually associated with drums, but he was amazing on drums too.

As I was watching the drum video, I was thinking, "I knew that Stevie is a musical genius, but I guess didn't fully understand what that means." We hear artists on Cd's and the radio or we see them on videos, and as good as their recorded material is, we miss so much of them by not seeing them live. There are certain things that just can't translate on record. It's one thing to hear a recording of a good guitar solo, but it's another thing to actually see that solo played. Back in 2004, I went out to see Ayro perform. He did amazing things with an MPC and 2 keyboards. Later on, when I listened to the recorded version of that same performance, while it was good, it did not approach the experience of what I had seen in person.

I write my music, but I lack the skill to play it live. I'm completely happy with that, but I have to respect the people that can do this stuff live. How can you not admire good, live music? It's simply amazing.

I'm gonna #012

I'm gonna ask people if the are speaking in the figurative or literal sense whenever they use common metaphors and figures of speech. Once they tell me they mean it figuratively, I'll have a delayed reaction to whatever they said.



"That's some dumb shit!"

"Um, when you say shit, do literally mean that's an unintelligent bowel movement, or did you mean that figuratively?"

"Errr...I meant it figuratively - there's no bowel movement."

(Completely naturally as if this is my first response to the original statement) "Ha ha, yeah that shit is dumb!"

It's Here

The album that I keep talking about is done. It is available for preview and sale at cdbaby. I posted digital liner notes that include credits, lyrics and thank-you's at AhdChild.com. The release party will be on Thursday, September 6, so if you're in the Philly area, come out. It's free and I'll be performing a bunch of songs from the album.



So far, I've sold a few copies of the album by hand, and feedback has been very positive. I've tried to guess at which songs would be the "favorites." In some cases I was right, but in other cases it's been songs that never would have guessed. As far as subject matter goes, the album is pretty heavy, especially the last song, but according to one guy who bought it, the bonus tracks help change the mood once the main tracks are finished.

If you listen and like what you hear, please post a review at cdbaby.

Experience Leech

Yesterday, I went to a reading by William Gibson, a well-known sci-fi author. In her speech, the lady who introduced him mentioned that Gibson is not a techy or anything like that, he learns the technical language he uses in his novels by hanging out with techies. When she said that, it hit me - writers are experience leeches. Artists are leeches. Even as she spoke, I was being a leech. I was sitting in my seat trying to figure out how I could fit Gibson's speech into a blog entry. I constantly wander through life looking for songs. I look at my experiences and other people's experiences. Once, a friend voiced concern that another friend was losing herself in a relationship. Now I have a half-finished song from the point of view of someone who's realized he's lost his individuality to his relationship. The key lines in the chorus - "All we got is we/I don't know how that got to be/But now all we got is we."

I am an experience leech, or even worse, an experience thief. That friend has no idea that her life was the inspiration for a song, and if she heard it, she'd have no idea it had anything to do with her. I asked no permission and gave no warning. Now that I think about it, I've been doing this since I first started creating. Around the time that I first started writing poems, I remember someone telling me that as a toddler she had been scared of death. It struck me as odd and interesting that a toddler would have the understanding and the forethought necessary to be able to fear death, so that became the subject of one of my earliest poems.

I guess this is my warning/disclaimer to everyone. Your life may become my art. By sharing any part of your life with me, you are implying your consent to have some part of your life experience to be featured in a song, poem, blog or other creative endeavor. Yes I know this is the sort of unfairly half-assed, obscure disclaimer that most people never read until it's way too late, but if it works for software companies, it'll work for me. And I'm not sorry. I'm grateful for every person, thing and event that provides inspiration, but I am not sorry for stealing your experiences and I don't care that I don't have permission.

True Story

The names in this story are changed. Otherwise, it is a true story.

I had a client, Dave, who recorded his whole album in my home studio. He was very happy with the quality of the recording and mixing, so after the album was done, he came back to record a song that he was working on with another artist, Robert. The whole time that Robert was in my studio, he kept making small comments, implying that because it was a home studio, the quality of the music would not be good. My studio is not flashy and when it comes to looks, it doesn't have much in common with a professional studio, so I ignored the comments. I assumed that when Robert heard the end result, he'd realize that appearance isn't everything. I wasn't really feeling Robert's condascending attitude, but other than that, the session went well. Robert had to leave before I mixed the song, so he didn't hear the final version that day, but I mixed it and gave a copy to Dave. As usual, Dave was very happy with the result.

Fast forward several months. I ran into Robert and he told me that he finally got to hear the mixed version of the song. He loved it and was very impressed by the mixing. He said that the second version he heard was much better than the first. Second version? First? After the conversation, I realized that I didn't remember if I had done two versions or if I'd given Dave a rough version of the song before giving him a final mix. Maybe he'd had someone else mix the song after me and the second version that Robert was praising wasn't even the one I did! I didn't want to take credit that didn't belong to me, so I went to Dave and asked him if the mix Robert had heard was the one that I had done.

Dave told me that not only was it the same mix that I had done, it was identical to the "first version" that Robert said he didn't like. Apparently, I did mix the song the same day we recorded it. Soon after that, Dave gave Robert a copy of it. Robert listened to it and told Dave to send it to him when he had it mixed in a real studio. Months later, Robert told Dave he was still waiting to get a copy of that song. Dave sent Robert the exact same file. Robert loved it.

A Few New (Pseudo) Necessities

I was told about a news story where it was claimed that on hot days we should spend some time in airconditioning because our bodies don't get a chance to rest if they stay hot. Air conditionors are convenient, but they are hardly a necessity. We have gotten along without them for ages and many of us (me for example) still don't own one. Well, this made me think about all the other pseudo necessities that modern technology has given us. Here's the list in no particular order:

• Air conditioners - making sure to stay hydrated on a hot day will keep you safe from heat related health issues.
• Cell phone - I know this must not be a necessity because I didn't have one for most of my life and I stil survived somehow. I just can't figure out how survival was achieved without a cell phone.
• Washing machines and driers - we all either own washing machines or take our dirty clothes to places where we basically rent washing machines. Once upon a time people washed clothes by hand. I've heard that it still works for those who care to try.
• Cable - obviously this doesn't apply to every, but it seems that many people consider cable to be one of the basic and necessary utilities, right up there with water, heat and electricity.
• Microwave - Similar to the cell phone, I know that there has to be someway to exist without a microwave, I just can't figure out what it is. I'm sure it must somehow involve stoves and ovens.

There are some technologies that weren't necessities in the past that are now because of the way that society has changed.

• Computer - Our society creates it's own need for computers. If we, as a society, decided that we didn't want computers anymore, we could simply turn them off, but if the rest of society is typing away, it's hard for one individual to get by without some sort of computer and internet access.
• Car (depending on where you live) - The availability of cars has made us design societal infrastructure for cars. Things are further apart now because distance isn't as much of an inconveniance as it used to be - as long as you have a car.
• Credit/Debit Card - It's not safe to keep a bunch of cash around, it's not always possible to get to the bank, and the personal check is dead. The only people that accept checks are landlords and people you pay by mail (utility companies, magazine, etc.)

Did I miss anything?

I Am Not My Inspiration

It seems like the majority of artists that I have heard or talked tend to write from their own personal point of view. Many can connect each piece they've created to a particular experience or set of experiences in their life. I guess it makes sense that this would be the natural mode of operation for most people, but it never has been for me. Even when I was in ninth grade, just beginning to write poetry and stories, what excited me about writing was the opportunity it gave me to put myself in someone else's shoes. Back then, my writing obsession was violent criminals. It seemed to me that people constantly wrote them off as simply "crazy" and left it at that. "Crazy" doesn't explain the thought processes people have, it almost implies that there is none. I figured even if the logic is wrong, there must be some sort of logic, so I set out to try to figure it out in several stories that were written from the points of views of murderers. I remember a classmate of mine who admired my writing and began writing his own violent stories. I never liked his stories because he wrote about violence for the sake of violence, and that was obvious from reading them. Typical teenage male attraction to delinquency was not what was behind my writing.

Fast forward a bunch of years, and I realize I'm doing the same thing. I still generally don't write from my own point of view. I constantly and naturally create characters and then try to figure out what they think and feel. Even when a song is inspired by my own emotion or experience, I create an extreme caricature out of it. For example, in the song Get my Gun on Reverse Psychology (Click to check out the lyrics), my character is observing the problematic aspects of our modern society and battling with the contradictory desires it arouses - one to help make things better, and another to protect himself from the messed up world. Sometimes trying to help others can affect you negatively, whether it's by putting you in physical danger, inconveniencing you, or overtaxing your resources. This is definitely something I have battled with, but for the song, I took it to the extreme. My character is so conflicted that he is willing to wield a weapon to help uplift the world, not recognizing that in doing so, he is becoming a threat to that which he wants to save.

My interest in imagining different perspectives has not decreased since ninth grade, and now I also feel like extreme caricatures are so much more effective for exploring emotions and ideas than more realistic characters. I could have talked about my own inability to balance philanthropy with supporting myself, but I think the picture that Get my Gun paints is far more compelling and universal. The thing is that my life is complex and arbitrary in many ways. If I'm trying to make a point or discuss a particular idea, it seems to me that my relatively unfocused life has a lot of extra stuff that does not belong in the conversation. Taking things to the extreme is kind of like stripping away the fat. If I want to write a song about being disappointed, I might start with my own experiences of the feeling, but then remove any opposing feelings. I have been disappointed before, but I have also had my hopes fulfilled before - but in the song, there is just disappointment.

That's all I have to say about that.

August Update

All kinds of things have been happening on my main website that I haven't talked about here. Here are the updates.

• Back in May, the site got redesigned a bit.
• Album information for Reverse Psychology has been added to the site. Click on the album cover to get detailed information and complete lyrics.
• Since April, I've been handing out Rough Drafts, a free EP. I also made the EP available for download. you can get 4 of the songs individually, or download the zip file to get all 6.

In addition to the website updates, there is album news. The order has gone out for the artwork and the very last finishing touches to the CD will be taken care of today. Reverse Psychology will be available for purchase on or before August 24. It won't be available online for a little while after that - CD Baby takes a few days to set up a new CD - but by September, it should be available online as well.

To celebrate, there will be an album release/listening party during the September edition of ThorTakeover's monthly Mic Check Thursday.

Mic Check Thursday
Thursday, September 61
0pm - 2am
@ Liquid Charm
1207 Race St.
Philadelphia, PA

Performance Notes - Lessons Learned

On Tuesday night I went to a small open mic night. The vibe was different than what I'm used to. Lately I've been performing for people who came out specifically to see underground hip-hop. On Tuesday, it seemed that most of the people came out for the event (free food, open bar, etc.) instead of the music. On top of that, the first performer went on stage and rapped about guns, money, and hoes - typical mainstream hip-hop subject matter. The crowd seemed to react well to him. At the other events I've performed at lately, the crowd would have not-so-subtly stepped outside to socialize until his performance ended. I was second. I got up there and performed Resistance (from Reverse Psychology - which should be out by the end of this month) . It didn't start off well. The DJ scratched it in instead of just playing it, so I lost track of where I was supposed to start. During the first verse, the music was way too low - the DJ did not seem to be paying attention to levels throughout the whole night - and it's hard for me to get into the song when I have to concentrate just to hear the beat. Some of the people in the crowd were paying attention, but I knew I could do better. During the chorus, I signaled for the DJ to turn up the music, and I put my heart into the next two verses. It worked. I got their full attention. Lesson learned - just because people like music with no content doesn't mean they won't respond well to music that attempts to be thought provoking.

Towards the end of the night, when the host said he was putting on the last MC, a girl went up to the stage and corrected him - there was one more MC who wanted to perform. The MC who had been getting introduced offered to allow "ladies first." She said "hold on, let me get a shot and then I'll be ready" and walked away. The guy went ahead and performed. I don't think he had been serious about letting her go first, but still - lesson learned - do not make the crowd wait for you while you do something completely unrelated and unnecessary.

So this girl had already called attention to herself when she approached the stage. When it was her turn, she went in the back to conference with the DJ while the host did his best to stall for her. Finally he told her she'd had enough time and she needed to do what she was doing. Apparently, she had been picking out a beat. She came out on stage and the audience gave her a welcoming round of applause. She corrected us, saying ,"like this," as she raised her hands in the air and began snapping. I guess clapping wasn't Nuyorican Cafe enough for her. As the music started, she told the audience that she had just written what she was about to perform. She then began to rap from a paper. Performing poetry from paper can work because there is no music to keep up with. Singing from paper can work because singers' lyrics are usually less dense with more room for pauses than rap lyrics. Lesson learned - rapping from paper doesn't work.

Her lyrics were full of awkward pauses as she figured out what was on the paper or as she realized that a particular word was too early or too late. It was not going well. Finally, about half way through, she stopped and told the DJ that the beat was too fast. "Do it acapella!" the host yelled. So she did it acapella. What followed was a mediocre, at best, poetry performance. I would have been a lot less harsh in my judgment of the final poem if this girl hadn't made a big scene out of approaching the stage, making people wait, and insisting we snap for her. With all that build-up, her performance should have been amazing. Instead it was simply anti climatic. Lesson learned - do not make a big production and draw tons of attention to yourself when you're about to suck or be mediocre.

I'm gonna #011

I'm gonna start using the non sequiturs to end really deep and involved conversations.

For example, imagine a few people having an intense discussion on the existence of God. I'll chime in "don't even let me get started on the greenhouse effect." During the awkward silence that follows as everyone tries to figure out what I'm talking about, I'll walk away.